I'm learning that I can't make everyone happy. Not only is it impossible, but it is not my job. That is not to say that I am giving up on being kind, I'm just realizing I can't keep sacrificing my happiness for the sake of others. It is so easy to fall into a routine of selfless acts that I don't even notice that it is making me miserable. Why should I go out of my way for people who hardly return the favor? I shouldn't.
I've never minded helping people. In fact, it makes me feel awesome, but in order to help people that I love, I really need to take care of myself as well. Self care shouldn't feel selfish to me.
So as I spend the rest of the summer recharging before I transfer to SF State (!!!), I'm working on learning how to be a little more kind to myself.
I should also write more (yes, I know, I always say that) and finish my painting.
It has just been sitting on my desk.
Oh man, the more I look at it the more disproportionate it seems.
The crazy thing about this summer is how busy I've been. I think this is the first day I sat around in my pajamas and did nothing. It is glorious. I need to do this more often. Now that I only have two random jobs instead of three, I anticipate having slightly more free time.
Some time this week I will upload my photography portfolio. I know I'm super behind on that. In the meantime the photos above are the infamous hair cutting sequence. I wish I would've gotten a hold on a dagger or something, but they came out well.
And because I haven't posted in two months, here is a bonus photo of Lily:
This girl is so photogenic.
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