Damn You, Technology Gods!

The Technology Gods hate me. Every chance they get, they spite me just for fun. I can't even go near a printer without it malfunctioning and computers...well, we have a mutual hatred. It all started a couple years ago when my faithful desktop was eaten alive by a malicious internet virus. Now, I had never gotten a virus before, but living with boys really tests the limits of your free anti-virus software. It might have been the entire discographies and movies downloaded once they realized the wonders of Bit Torrent, but most likely it was porn. I don't know for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised.

When I moved to Los Angeles, with the help of my resourceful brother, I traded both my desktop and laptop for better models. The newer laptop was great, except the fact that the disk drive stopped working after a couple weeks. Oh, and that it doesn't have a battery so it has to be plugged in all times. The desktop ran, but didn't have a graphics card; which is needed to play any games. Games like StarCraft 2. I managed to install it on my laptop, which only barely meets the system requirements; meaning I can only run it on the lowest settings and it still freezes. I almost cried when I saw how the game runs on my little brother's computer. It was so beautiful.

A friend of mine is letting me "babysit" his desktop while he is away. I suspect the real reason for this is so I can hone my StarCraft skills and stop causing us to lose all the time when we play co-op. So I lugged it through two airports, across three state lines and almost blew out my shoulder in the process. Not to mention the odd stares from everyone wondering why I was carrying around a computer half my size in a harness. Once home, I was so excited to set it up. Finally, a fully functional computer! Surely the Technology Gods would favor me for the amount of suffering I had endured. With a song in my heart and stars in my eyes, I started it up.

-DISK BOOT FAILURE, INSERT SYSTEM DISK AND PRESS ENTER-

God dammit.

Nappy Fester Everyone!

My brother recently switched to a touch screen phone, resulting in humorous spelling errors.

 

That is why you should always go with the full keyboard.

(I don't know why I have a picture of this.) 

I went to Santa Rosa for Zombie Jesus day and celebrated with a trip to the cemetery. For some unknown reason, I had never been to the rural cemetery, despite having lived in the town most of my life. My wife and I went tromping through dead leaves to her favorite spots, where we rested against a headstone and took pictures of our shoes while she tried to convince me to move back.

 

 I feel like this is starting to become a trend.  

Script Frenzy Update:

Six days. Thirty-three pages. This is the moment of truth.

Until week three, I had been doing so well. Somewhere around page fifty most of my motivation and all of my sanity ran off. I often wonder, why in the name of all things holy did I think that this was a good idea? I am trying not to panic. And yes, I realize I should be writing my script right now.

Hopefully my next post will be of a triumphant finish. All I need is five and half pages a day. Ok, time to get super serious.

Oh! I almost forgot! Last week was Tiger Lily's birthday. 

 

At least I didn't put a party hat on her. 

Tired of Script Frenzy? Yeah, me too.

I have made it past the half way mark. Fifty-one pages of cheesy dialogue and boring scenes. I might print out the one hundred pages once I finish just so I can set it on fire. I have a sneaking suspicion that once it is finally done, I will want to hide it deep within the files of my computer, never to look upon it again.

Okay, I am being a bit dramatic. Everything just seems so much better in my imagination only to mutate into something horrible once it leaves my thoughts and is put into words. It is possible that I am being a little hard on myself. Or it could really be that bad.

This weekend I should have been getting ahead on my page count, since I am going up north to Santa Rosa for five days. What did I do instead? I went on another weekend adventure. At least I got some exercise in.

Recently I found out the show Always Sunny in Philadelphia uses a warehouse downtown for all the exterior shots of the bar. So, while wandering around Little Tokyo with a friend, I figured, hey what better way to spend our time than walk around the warehouse district at night? Always a good idea in my book.

So there you have it! Paddy's Pub. Exciting, right?

 I am not giving up on my terrible script, I just need to generate some motivation. It is almost the third week and I have some serious catching up to do. At this moment in time, I am nine pages behind. Ouch. Okay, so here I go, getting serious and stuff. Meanwhile, I will leave you with this:

 

 It didn't come with instructions.

Week Two!

 

Seriously, how sweet is this?

 

The first week of Script Frenzy is over and I am only behind two pages. This is the most dedicated I've been to a project, well, ever really. When I did National Novel Writing Month (NaNo) I steadily fell behind on my word count each day. By the second week, there was little hope of ever catching up. About four days from the end of the challenge, flustered and lost in the chaos of my novel, I quietly resigned. It didn't help that it was the holidays and I had more than enough distractions. 

This time, I am going to not let travel and visiting family derail my progress. Sure, I may be going out of town twice this month, but it just means that I need more focus and determination. Hear that inspiration gods?! I am going to finish this challenge, even if it costs me my sanity. Why, you ask? It is because I need to know that I can actually finish something, even if it is a terrible first draft of a script that no one will ever read.  And let's not kid ourselves, that is exactly what this will be. 

My characters are already rebelling and I am fairly certain that the story will mutate in the next week or so. Today, it is about a girl who accidentally brings upon the zombie apocalypse whilst trying to kill herself with poisoned cupcakes. Tomorrow, who knows.

Here We Go...

With less than an hour until Script Frenzy begins, I am confident enough to say that I am not prepared. Sure, I have spent the last month and a half thinking about this day, but thinking is about all that I accomplished. It seems that no matter how much time I have, I will never be ready for these month-long challenges. I am just not disciplined enough to get organized. Maybe part of the excitement is the unknown. I have a basic idea of what the story is. I know most of my characters. Hopefully the rest will come to me while I sleep or in the creative process of writing; otherwise this might be a painful experience.

I can do this! I know this story like the back of my hand (basically). It was thought up three years ago during the unforgettable Christmas when we convinced my younger brother that a zombie virus actually existed. My subconscious has been generating ideas and making connections for the past two months. I've got this. Writing a script is no more scary than trying to write a novel. At least there are rules for me to follow this time.

I aim to write four pages a day. I don't know whether this is an unrealistic goal or not, but I'm sure I will find out soon enough. Wish me luck!

Tattoos and Candy

If I could live off of candy, I have no doubt that I would. Last week I went up north to visit for Mom's 60th birthday. We (the siblings) treated her to lunch in Fisherman's Wharf and stopped at the Candy Baron on Pier 39 for salt water taffies. There is something so incredible about candy stores; it is like living inside a cartoon. I instantly have the urge to stuff my pockets full of whatever I can get my hands on. One of two things happen when I am in a candy store: I either am so overwhelmed by the choices I walk out empty handed, or go crazy and buy too much. After making a lap around the aisles, I walked out having taken nothing but pictures.

 Luckily, Mom was on it. When she entered the store she grabbed a bucket and began filling it with handfuls of rainbow colored treats. She waked out with a gallon bag full of salt water taffies. Now, I have tried to buy some in Los Angeles, and maybe I just didn't go to the right place, but it seems as though Northern California has the best taffies. We thought she went a bit overboard, but the bag was demolished a couple days later. Clearly, we underestimated the allure of candy.

During my visit I finally was able to coordinate schedules with both my friends and tattoo artist. The stars and planets aligned and I finally got the first two tattoos of my BFF tattoo collage. Yes, tattoo collage. Eventually I want to get matching tattoos with all of my favorite people (participation purely voluntary, of course).

Now, I originally wasn't planning on getting two tattoos in one week, but when your best friends offer to pay for it, it is difficult to refuse.

Enter dinosaurs! 

I realize that my obsession has now reached levels of mental illness, but I figure I would rather get silly dinosaurs with two of the people I love most than some common sparrow or koi fish (no offense to anyone who has either of those). I have never been good a following trends anyway.

                                                                                                                   

False Alarm

Remember how I was panicking (sorta) about March being Script Frenzy and I was nowhere near prepared? Yeah, looks like it was all for nothing. April. Script Frenzy is the 30 days of April. Silly me. It was the universe giving me just the right amount of drive to get my little butt going. So, this month? I will be doing character sketches and story outlines. Yes, I am committing to it. Right here. Someone needs to kick me if I don't do it.

As if the universe thought I wasn't serious, on Thursday morning my internet refused to work. This happened to be the same day that my brother left town for the weekend. While I am not completely technologically inept, it seems I lack the necessary troubleshooting skills to figure it out the problem. I tried resetting the router, unplugging and switching out cords. No luck. I figured that I could plug an ethernet cord directly into my laptop, but that was not the case either. On the bright side of things, I was forced to work on my writing. I mean, what else was there to distract me now? Aside from phone calls and movies, of course.

This is definitely a distraction.

What worries me the most is how utterly lost I feel without access to the internet. The fact that I can't check my email is enough to send me into a mild panic. I can't even count the number of times I have opened my computer to look up some random fact, image or whatever, only to remember that I have been cut off. After four days, I was beginning to try to live a new life without it. My morning routine of coffee and aimless web surfing was ruined, instead replaced by reading or working on my novel. A better existence I am sure, but now that I have been reconnected, I will probably go back to my unproductive ways. 

Wait, no I won't. Wasn't that what this whole blurb is about? Me getting on track with my writing? Damn. Okay, so even though I am going to be busy with my new job (hopefully) and visiting my hometown this month, I am GOING to be productive.

Unless Tiger Lily has any say in it...